Tuesday, March 07, 2006

 

Balikatan Brides

Surrounded by her family, her many sister’s families, her brother’s families, all 35 of them, she awaits half impatiently, half hesitantly for the man that would soon be her husband. Waving frantically from the causeway erected 10 meters above the main floor of the Cebu International airport, her niece nips at her ”asa na imong kano” (where is your American).

Fidgeting for an answer as she turns to answer as she is interrupted by the voice she recognizes from the many hours of internet chat and international phone calls “Cindy”. She turns to find his open arms and warm smile. As promised she wraps her arms around him and embraces him warmly. She fains from allowing him to kiss her on the lips as he wanted and settles for returning his kiss on her cheek.

This reunion of hearts is played out 1000s of times each year in train stations, ferry terminals and air ports all across the Philippines as the many cyber suitors are joined together with the women they love.

The advent of the internet has resulted in love stories such as these being played out world over. Traditional boundaries and even racial stigma is broken down by these countless hearts seeking happiness.

International relationships or “Long Distance Relationships” as they are frequently called brings with them as many concerns as there are benefits. As anonymous as the internet may be the mitigating factor is the distance. There are few if any American men willing to jump on an airplane tomorrow for any Filipina they have just met on the internet. Nor would there be any Filipinas willing to meet them if they did.

The magic and the blessing of Long Distance Relationships is the time factor. These long distance cross cultural relationships endure a average of 12 months of constant communication prior to culminating in a physical meeting. Some as long as 4 years. All of which leaves the couple begging for 1 thing.

Intimacy 1 : the state of being intimate : FAMILIARITY
2 : something of a personal or private nature

Intimacy in its purest form, true intimacy is the joining of two minds, becoming familiar to each other through countless hours of communication, uninterrupted by physical aspects of a relationship. Many a wise man (and wise woman) have said “At the end of the day what are you 2 going to talk about” In the case of the Filipina / American marriage, the answer is plenty, “We established this relationship on communication

It is no wonder many of these long distance marital unions have success rates far exceeding those achieved through religious organizations. In fact 1 such study conducted in cooperation with the CFO of the Philippines cited the Filipina American marriages of having an 80% success rate. Not even religious organizations such as the Catholic Church can tout a more impressive statistic.

Currently Non-profit Organizations receiving United States Federal funding are attempting to redefine these relationships and marriages as “Abusive” or “Human Trafficking”. Or they attempt to redefine the women as “Mail Order Brides” and the relationships as Prostitution in nature. However misguided their thinking is I feel it significant to point out they are funded by Abuse programs and Human Trafficking Awareness programs. In short they make a descent living finding abuse and human trafficking under every rock and crevice they can accuse.

More importantly these Long Distance/Cross-cultural Relationships serve as a testimony to the value of communication and understanding in marriage. The rest of America might best be served to take notice and follow the example. Communication and Understanding works – plain and simple.

Monday, February 20, 2006

 

Late Registration NSO Birth Certificates

We get emails like these all the time

My fience is still living in Philippines. The problem were encountering is that since she was born on an island he mother never registered her with the NSO for birth. Now that were trying to get her birth cert for her passport the NSO doesn't show her on file. I'm still currently looking for information and i came across your web site. I would appreciate any information you could pass my way.

Late registration of Birth Certificates is nothing new we are affraid. Estimates claim as high as 30% of all Filipinos have not registered their birth certificate with the NSO.

It is not a complicated procedure in regestering with the NSO in the Philippines and cost very little. You can check E-Census for the nearest NSO office and submit your Local Civil Regestrar's copy of your birth certificate.

For information and suggestions for Late Regestration of NSO Birth Certificates you can find helpfull tips and phone numbers of the NSO offices

Saturday, January 14, 2006

 

I was impressed...

Hello there anonymous Gentleman!

I was so pleased while reading your site .. it gives me idea how you love your Filipina wife and i would like to extend my best wishes and congratulations to both of you.

I am very much amazed of your gentleness and I thank you for being so kind and open minded in accepting Filipino values and culture.I know YOU and Cindy is very lucky to have each other.

I am very much impressed also how you learn all this things about " us " .. in fact I was really surprised reading it because I , myself didnt bother to find out how exactly Filipino Wedding and practices on courtship takes place not until i found your site . Now i am more aware about it ... Its ironic isnt it? but honestly .its the real stuff!

I will recomend your site to my future husband ..He is from France and were planning to marry hopefully this April 2006.

More power!


Hi Grace

A warm thank you from Joe and Cindy

Tell your fiancé I said

Ceci va probablement être le geste le plus signicatif de l'amour et la dévotion que vous pouvez lui faire doit lui permettre d'avoir un mariage aux Philippines.

and then send him this link Mariage De Philippine

I am really glad you liked the website. We created that site because I felt too many American men would bring their Filipina Fiancés to the United States under K-1 Fiancé Visa and getting married in small civil ceremonies with only a couple friends and none of the bride's family in attendance.

The excuse was a K-1 visa to America was 30 days faster then the K-3 (Spouse Visa). We have really tried hard to inform Gentlemen visa processing times should not be the deciding factor for the location of their wedding. That they should be more thoughtful of their soon to be Filipina Bride, as we are sure all Filipinas would much rather have a Big Wedding with the family by their side.

Good Luck and Best Wishes on your soon to be marriage.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

 

about to do my I-134

Hi

I am about to do my I-134 now and I’m getting my W-2s and Tax transcripts from the government along with the 12months of bank statements and letter from my employer and divorce decree.

My question for you is this, I was told all these tax transcripts and W-2s have to be notarized along with the I-134. I just got my federal tax back can I take them to my tax lady whom is a notary, to have her notarize these papers or no?!



Hi

Place all your tax returns, letter of employment, and bank letter together with the I-134 and have it notarized altogether at 1 time as a packet. I used copies of my form 1040 along with the W-2s. The notary viewed all the original documents and then notarized the entire complete I-134 packet.

The divorce decree needs to be Certified True Copy which can be acquired from the court house (clerk’s office) where your final divorce decree was filed. If you have moved away you can always call the court clerk's office and inquire as how to expedite the delivery of certified copies of the final judgment to you.

In some cases they allow you express mail to them the file number along with appropriate fees and a prepaid express return envelope.

 

Attitude of phillipino people towards blacks?

Hi There,

Please note that I'm black and currently dating a Filipina. I'm planning to fly to the Philippines next to meet her and her parents. What is the attitude of Philippine people towards blacks?

Is it ok to wear jeans when first meeting you Filipina for the first time?

Your help is greatly appreciated


Hi Emm

Well Emm it is not a secret her skin is brown. The Filipino people have an uncanny ability to read your intentions. You will be judged by your good intentions towards her. If they feel (and by this I mean her entire family) that you genuinely Love her and will be a good husband for her, you will be accepted whole heartedly into the family. But try to remember you are not just courting her, you are courting her entire family. They ALL must accept you.

And yes I wear Levi jeans in the Philippines. Bring her a pair too if your want to give her of the most sought after fashion statements in the Philippines

 

Questions about interview

I receive email asking me for information and advice from men anxiously waiting to be reunited with their Pinay wife through immigration. The Manila Embassy can be a little tricky as they have a few requirements and conditions not required at most diplomatic outpost.

Here is his letter to me

Hello,

My wife from Ormoc is soon to receive her Embassy interview papers. It is the day before her interview when she goes to the St. Luke’s for her physical. If she goes earlier does she need to take all the papers I have sent her.

12months notarized bank statements/ Employment paper notarized/ Notarized I-134/ divorce decree notarized/ copy of passport/ copy of birth cert/ notarized 3 years tax transcripts.

Is there anything else she will need from me besides all the photos of us and letters from me and emails and her papers....???? But is it safe to have her physical the day prior to the interview????

Thanks

My answer to him and his wife

Hi Friend

Your wife should go to the St. Luke’s Medical Clinic for her visa medical check at least 1 week before her interview date. Some like to go 2 weeks before the interview date because of the high frequency of retesting required for the TB x-ray.

All too often the doctors will question the original x-ray results and want to schedule her for a second testing. To avoid this from delaying her visa appointment 2 weeks prior to interview date is best. She can attend the St. Luke’s physical as long as she has her visa appointment letter to show the personnel at St. Luke’s so it is no problem attending a little early.

She will need to bring the Manila Embassy visa interview appointment letter so the St. Luke's clinic personnel know which MNL file number to address on her visa petition packet. They will be collecting all the necessary required documentation as requested in the K packet instructions and the visa petition instructions.

 

Manila Embassy Visa Interview Delays

We have been hearing lots of news from couples anxiously awaiting to be reunited through K-1 or K-3 visas about the delays of 5 to 6 months at the Manila embassy. Once received at the Manila Embassy they used to process K-1 or K-3 visa packets in 2 to 3 weeks. For example my wife’s petition was received Aug. 8, 2003. She received her K – packet Aug. 28th 2003, exactly 21 days after the Manila Embassy recied the visa petition from the NVC.


Now days it may take up to 90 days before the approaved visa petition from NVC is processed into the Manila Embassy. The Embassy claims the processing delays are due to a sudden influx of visa petitions causing the work overload. The embassy’s standard answer processing can take 180 days from time of receipt of visa petition to interview date.


Because of the number of concerned beneficiaries and visa petitioners calling the Manila Embassy, State Department, USCIS, and various Congressional and Senate representatives requesting information regarding visa interview schedule dates, the State Dept. has set up an online tracking system for Manila Embassy Interview Dates for the month

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